At our recent staff meeting, Ali kindly nominated me to go on a trip to the end of the earth…Nsanje, which is one of the southern most towns in Malawi. It’s a hot, sticky 6 hour drive to get there and when you arrive you find its not much more than a dust bowl. We were to leave at the crack dawn but the usual faffing about somewhere along the line meant that we didn’t, however we got to Blantyre fairly early and after the obligatory stop at Shoprite, we headed south. A refuelling stop in Bangula took a little longer than expected since the tanker had to actually finish filling up the pumps before we could have any fuel but the beggars kept me entertained, one that came up to me said, blunt as anything, ‘give me money, I’m insane.’ Nice try, Sonny Jim, but uh-a, not this time!
Eventually, we got to Nsanje and the place that we were staying…I unwrapped my pashmina from round my head and shook out my hair – rather like a Herbal Essences advert I thought – until half a ton of dust flew out and landed in my eyes. We checked in (executive suites all round ) and then as it was lunch time, trotted across to the restaurant and sat down. Now, despite a menu, it transpired that you could only have nsima, rice, fish and chicken – in any combination you’d like though. I opted for the rice/chicken combo since the fish, although quite dead, still had its head flopping over the side of the plate, eye winking at me and quite honestly smelt like it should have been eaten months ago. After that was all over, I was instructed to go for a quick wash and then meet back at the bus so we could go and check on the students at the hospital. I got back to my room and checked out whether I needed a wash or not, I wasn’t wiffy but was pretty grubby dusty so I took off my uniform and set about running a basin to sloosh – one small problem though – no water coming out the taps. That’s when I noticed the full bucket delicately placed in the shower – it was so huge and heavy it could move it so gave up on the bird bath idea, moved my wash things into the shower and prepared for a triple F manoeuvre/bucket bath instead.
All clean and lovely, I locked my room and waited for the Boss Lady so we could go the hospital. The students were there on there midwifery attachment and the purpose of our visit was to check and see how they were doing with their objectives etc etc. We (well, She, since I don’t know anything about midwifery) quizzed them for a couple of hours and then just as I thought we were getting into it, we left them and scooted off for a tour of the town. As I mentioned earlier, not much more than a dust bowl with some titchy shops, a market, some dodgy looking motels – you get the picture! Goodness knows what the students have been doing for entertainment for the past 2 months.
Boss Lady disappeared off to buy fish and I went back to my room for a more thorough wash in the plunge pool as I still felt incredibly grubby. There wasn’t any power so the shower cave was pretty dark this time round, far more exciting though – perched on the edge, trying not to touch the walls, keeping the soap from scooting off underneath the loo…
Dinner was pretty much the same as lunch, not that I felt like having a thing – some lady joined us and chastised me for wasting food – took an instant dislike to her! It was all over by 7 o’clock so I went to bed! The earliest in a long time, not that I actually got to sleep then – just as I had finished tucking the mossie net in all around me, the whole thing fell off the hook so I had to fight my way out, retrieve the hook from behind the head board and re-hang the damn thing. I think I forgot to mention that Nsanje is the hottest place in Malawi, so after all that palaver I was roasting and not ready to cover up for sleep so ended up lying flat out, cooling off, before attempting to tuck the net in again.
Next morning was up bright and early, headed into the cave (which was much brighter but no more pleasant) for a quick wash. I peered into the bucket to remove any bugs that might have suicided themselves in there overnight only to find that the whole thing was wriggling – little white worms squirming away – nasty! They have to have been in there from the previous day so I felt doubly unclean then but there was no way I was going to use that water again. Luckily, I tried the sink taps again and miracle of miracles, after a bit of spluttering, out came some water – marvellous!
Boss Lady knocked on the door a little while later and off we went to breakfast – the options were fairly limited so rice porridge it was…m’mm m’mmmmm…
Next stop was Bangula again, to see students at the health centre there, there wasn’t much activity, so we went to see the ones off duty in their accommodation. We went in, were led straight to a bedroom where 2 boys were lounging in bed, and just started chatting. Odd!
The drive home was just as dusty but with the added joy of having a bag of fish parked under my seat which as the day went on became deliciously fragrant! I was never as glad to see a shower as I was when I arrived at Antonio’s that evening.
Eventually, we got to Nsanje and the place that we were staying…I unwrapped my pashmina from round my head and shook out my hair – rather like a Herbal Essences advert I thought – until half a ton of dust flew out and landed in my eyes. We checked in (executive suites all round ) and then as it was lunch time, trotted across to the restaurant and sat down. Now, despite a menu, it transpired that you could only have nsima, rice, fish and chicken – in any combination you’d like though. I opted for the rice/chicken combo since the fish, although quite dead, still had its head flopping over the side of the plate, eye winking at me and quite honestly smelt like it should have been eaten months ago. After that was all over, I was instructed to go for a quick wash and then meet back at the bus so we could go and check on the students at the hospital. I got back to my room and checked out whether I needed a wash or not, I wasn’t wiffy but was pretty grubby dusty so I took off my uniform and set about running a basin to sloosh – one small problem though – no water coming out the taps. That’s when I noticed the full bucket delicately placed in the shower – it was so huge and heavy it could move it so gave up on the bird bath idea, moved my wash things into the shower and prepared for a triple F manoeuvre/bucket bath instead.
All clean and lovely, I locked my room and waited for the Boss Lady so we could go the hospital. The students were there on there midwifery attachment and the purpose of our visit was to check and see how they were doing with their objectives etc etc. We (well, She, since I don’t know anything about midwifery) quizzed them for a couple of hours and then just as I thought we were getting into it, we left them and scooted off for a tour of the town. As I mentioned earlier, not much more than a dust bowl with some titchy shops, a market, some dodgy looking motels – you get the picture! Goodness knows what the students have been doing for entertainment for the past 2 months.
Boss Lady disappeared off to buy fish and I went back to my room for a more thorough wash in the plunge pool as I still felt incredibly grubby. There wasn’t any power so the shower cave was pretty dark this time round, far more exciting though – perched on the edge, trying not to touch the walls, keeping the soap from scooting off underneath the loo…
Dinner was pretty much the same as lunch, not that I felt like having a thing – some lady joined us and chastised me for wasting food – took an instant dislike to her! It was all over by 7 o’clock so I went to bed! The earliest in a long time, not that I actually got to sleep then – just as I had finished tucking the mossie net in all around me, the whole thing fell off the hook so I had to fight my way out, retrieve the hook from behind the head board and re-hang the damn thing. I think I forgot to mention that Nsanje is the hottest place in Malawi, so after all that palaver I was roasting and not ready to cover up for sleep so ended up lying flat out, cooling off, before attempting to tuck the net in again.
Next morning was up bright and early, headed into the cave (which was much brighter but no more pleasant) for a quick wash. I peered into the bucket to remove any bugs that might have suicided themselves in there overnight only to find that the whole thing was wriggling – little white worms squirming away – nasty! They have to have been in there from the previous day so I felt doubly unclean then but there was no way I was going to use that water again. Luckily, I tried the sink taps again and miracle of miracles, after a bit of spluttering, out came some water – marvellous!
Boss Lady knocked on the door a little while later and off we went to breakfast – the options were fairly limited so rice porridge it was…m’mm m’mmmmm…
Next stop was Bangula again, to see students at the health centre there, there wasn’t much activity, so we went to see the ones off duty in their accommodation. We went in, were led straight to a bedroom where 2 boys were lounging in bed, and just started chatting. Odd!
The drive home was just as dusty but with the added joy of having a bag of fish parked under my seat which as the day went on became deliciously fragrant! I was never as glad to see a shower as I was when I arrived at Antonio’s that evening.
The ensuite bathroom ,with plunge pool (and worms!)
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