A sad day.

I did everything I could but despite all my capabilities I was unable to save my dear friend, A4 Laminator. For those of you who know me well you’ll appreciate how much I love laminating, my machine and I have spent many happy hours together, he came with me to Malawi and we continued plasticising everything we could lay our hands on at Malamulo.

Word of his existence got out and we agreed he’d spend some time in the company of someone else to help out in a photography business, his new partner was given full instructions and had to pass a competency assessment before we were happy with the arrangement. Several months ago, desperate at having been apart for so long, he made the long bus journey to Lilongwe but the joy on being reunited was shortlived. When I released him from his protective Jiffy bag I saw he was a changed being, covered in scrapes and scars with wires poking out from his underneath he was a sorry sight, several screws were missing and his plug was bashed. I rushed him to Dr Fix it who patched him up and tucked everything back in and although his little lights flashed willingly, I was sure they were dimmer than before.

On Wednesday afternoon his services were needed, I plugged him in and busied myself while he heated up. Little did I know as I snipped and arranged my papers that he was silently struggling. My preparations finished, I turned round ready to feed in the first sheet only to witness the horror of wisps of black smoke emanating from his casing. He was quickly unplugged but that didn’t prevent a hot, metallic, melting smell filling the office and knowing sadness from filling my soul.

At the end of the day, with his fevered body cooled, I wrapped him up and took him home where I performed an emergency laparotomy. I found several nasty adhesions – globs of melted plastic welded to his insides. Further exploratory surgery was thwarted by a power cut so I had to resume the next morning with the help of Dr Fix-it. We excised and cleaned as much as we could but on close inspection of the deep inner workings found a situation inconsistent with life.

With a heavy heart I commenced the organ extraction process, his screws, plug and remaining length of flex will no doubt be useful in the future reconstruction of other office machinery – as he would have wanted. As I tipped his charred remains in the bin I bade farewell to a much loved friend, only just holding back my tears. A sad day. A sad, sad day.