"cheering the sick"

On New Year’s Day we found ourselves back in the hospital having been given the message that a Presidential visit was planned for the end of the week, His Excellency was coming to “cheer the sick”. Goodness me!

So, we found ourselves briefed to clear out and tidy up the wards, music to my ears, even though the reason for doing it wasn’t entirely why I’d wanted to get it done for ages. Ali and I tag teamed and threw out box after box of age-old rubbish, broken bits and pieces, torn and yellowing paper and all the accumulated odds and sods of years of hoarding. Teams of people appeared in the hospital grounds, cleaning the brick work, filling in potholes, painting the grass green etc etc! New sheets and bed covers magically appeared, light bulbs missing for months were replaced and fake flowers galore were posted on every available surface.

On the day itself the sickest patients were sent off to the wards he wouldn’t see, those that had died in the night were swiftly dispatched to the mortuary and mourning relatives shooed out of sight. The rest of the patients were scraped out of bed, washed and dressed in identical hospital gowns – they were an absolute picture, a riot of colour- pink sheets, orange bed covers, yellow gowns – I expect more than a few felt distinctly nauseous at the sight of their fellow ward mates! Having been on standby for ages, tension building, things seemed to get going as group after group of officials and protocol bods swept into the wards, walking up and down, nodding and pointing. The gift givers then came, plastic buckets with rice, soap, ufa (maize flour) and other stuff were presented to the patients, then placed in suitably visible areas for all to see. One ‘giver’ caused momentary panic among the masses as he spilt flour on the floor so a broom brandisher whizzed out and hurriedly swept away the mess.

Next came the swarm of soldiers and police... boots squeaking, arms swinging, batons bouncing on their hips as they marched through. Every patient was frisked, geiger counter wand waved over them, cupboards searched, belongings rootled through for secreted weaponry. Once the rooms were cleared, no one was allowed in or out, no nurses even, nobody move!

A second wave of officials and protocollers did final checks, I was asked by one who’s job appeared to be ‘official lounger’ how excited I felt, ‘I really don’t know how to describe it’ I replied. ‘You must be excited enough to jump out your skin’ he said back, more as an order than an observation I think!

Finally, we were on – as the white gloved policeman signalled in the motorcade, the choir turned up the volume, the ladies danced just that bit more vigorously and waiting crowds shuffled and craned their heads forwards. A little while later, as he entered the ward, I caught a glimpse, over the shoulders of the ever-attentive, but nevertheless OTT adherents he was surrounded by. 10 minutes later it was all over, he came, he saw, he went.

Right, back to work everyone, shows over - we’ve got patients to care for…except no one really seemed remotely bothered.