Christmas Party (sort of)

Sounds like fun doesn't it??

As a member of the decorations committee (!) I was getting pretty excited at the thought of whipping round the building getting it spingly spangly and ready for the evening but I was the first (and only) person to turn up for the Great Decorating Event. The secretary handed over an incredibly dusty, plastic 2 foot high tree held together with decaying rubber bands and worryingly small bag containing 2 bits of tinsel and half a bag of water balloons. 'Are you kidding me?' She told me we'd be having it on the upstairs balcony (a slab of open concrete with peeling paint railings) and that I should make it look 'Grreaaat!' H'mmmm, ya!

Luckily, being the stationery hoarder that I am, I raided my stash of things and did some quick snipping and gluing. I went upstairs and in the blazing sunshine, sweating like a little piglet, I strung up the tinsel, flung the paper stars around and assembled the tree. As I was leaving the braiis were being brought up and filled with charcoal and a bucket full of unidentifiable bits of meat was plonked next to them, flies gathering in a frenzied storm.

I got back at 7ish - again, the first to arrive but luckily not the only this time. People trickled in and once the important bods had found themselves a chair - Madame MC got things started - I wish I'd thought to wear a hat like that...

In a change to the agenda, the cutting of the christmas cake was brought forward - everyone who hadn't been at last year's party came to the front, piled on top of the knife and sliced into the most massive chocolate iced, crazy sprinkled sponge I've ever seen. I was then elected to continue carving it up - mildly surprised to find it was still warm in the middle - and take it round to everyone.

While the braiis continued to belch out meaty smoke we cracked on with the Secret Santa but this was no normal gift exchange - we all picked a number and went back to our seats to wait to be called - the two numbers 1s first, then the numbers 2s, number 3s...The two people with the same number then got up, collected the present they'd brought from under the table and then had to dance around the whole place displaying their gift to their present partner. After a while, they were finally exchanged and then people from the crowd had to rush forward, wrestle the present off them and open it. Once the paper had been ripped, the present was held aloft, paraded around and then returned to its owner - then everyone went to sit down and the next number was called. Exhausting! I was number 11 - the wait caused a certain amount of tension and fear about how long I'd have to dance about in front of everyone as it seemed to get longer and longer with each pair. Finally, it was my turn...I pranced about, feeling desperately unco-ordinated, having no idea how to actually boogie to the accompanying tune. Finally it was over and I was handed a heavy box (which I nearly dropped!), immediately my present-opening helper materialised and it was opened up to reveal 6 smoky brown glass plates - just what I've always wanted!! I shimmied back to my place and breathed a sigh of relief it was all over.


'oooo, what is it?'


Everything then went very off-plan and some people weren't happy about that...

The rest of the evening was lost in a series of congratulatory speeches and handing out of brown envelopes of which Misja and I were excluded - nothing like feeling left out to put a dampner on things so as soon as the final prayer was said (at 11pm) we shot off and let dancing continue in between the swigging of fantas and munching of charred bones.